Thursday, January 19, 2006

New York, New York

Okay so I've been talking about moving to New York since I was a senior in High School and I figure I'm going to have to juxt force myself. Next wed. I will complete my application for the New York International Fringe Festival and if I'm accepted and I raise the money to go I'll be performing in NYC in August. Wish me Luck.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The voices are coming

If you're aware of going crazy can you still go crazy? If you know me very well then you would know about my obsession with insanity and especially scizophrenia and the idea of loosing the ability to distinguish what is reality from what is not. Or perhaps living in another reality. I guess it all depends on your point of view. Anyway I think I had a schizophrenic experience I was hearing voices last night and I swear it wasn't like anything I've ever experienced before. Oddly enough there was no clear speach it was like a muffled voice that I could tell was trying to communicate but I couldn't comprehend the message. Or maybe they didn't want to tell me anything but just wanted to let me know that they were there ready to start tormenting me whenever they saw fit. You know what I lied it was similar to audio hallucinations I've had on shrooms before. Now that I think about it maybe I was just tripping. Having a flash back is so much less interesting than going crazy though. Oh, well.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

what will be will be

It's hard sometimes to accept the fact that I am meant to be exactly where I am. I look at the kids I'm currently working with and I think "Man wouldn't have been great if I had a childhood like theirs" but no. I had things I had to go thru to make me into the person I am and true I think I could have moved a lot faster in my career had things gone differently but what if all the things I've grown from the addictions and disorders had happened after I made it to the "top" right now I'd probably be rebuilding a crumbled life and I'm sure I would have gone thru more hardships and may have not recovered. I'll just have to have patience and accept that what will be will be and I just have to be open to it.
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