i am not my own being but only a part of a higher entity.

i know for a fact and i believe science backs me up that everything that i know of existing has the ability to affect everything else. because of this i assume there is a connection between all that exists in the universe and beyond. it doesn't seem far fetched for me to look at myself and realize that i am made of protons and neutrons that form particles that form cells that form organs and bones and muscle that form me and see that I am a person who is part of a community in a country on a planet in a solar system part of a galaxy which must be a part of something larger.

for most of time man has tried to justify why things on this planet work so intricately in response to each other. equally we strive to understand our selves and how we work. I believe it was probably the desire to understand these outward and inward connections that first inspired man to create the concept of "god". surely primitive men must have thought that our very existence was so complicated that it must be derived from some outer source. through out time we have tried to define that source through spirituality and many have pursued religion recognizing that honoring or worshiping that entity in some way has a positive affect on us. however in our attempts to worship we have screwed it all up causing more harm than benefits.

looking at the connections we are trying to explain i believe that "god" is not as abstract as we try to create it. man has created the concept of god to explain the connection between things however i believe that god is that connection. that universes collectively form a larger entity and this entity is god. if we truly wanted to find religion it would simply be to live a life that most benefited all that exists: god. we would strive to understand all others and do whatever we can to create the most positive energies as possible.

i wish i had the ability to to spread these ideas in a more direct way for i feel if we as a species do not actively make ourselves beneficial in our existence the futility of our existence will be recognized and we will be the cause of our annihilation.

Things are never as they seem

people are strange creatures. we have this weird obsession with knowing everything and what we don't know we imagine. in addition to this i have a habit of sharing everything.

I want people to know everything about me to such an extent that I care not for secrets or private thoughts. i am a strange person and the less people know about me the more likely they are going to misinterpret my words and actions. the more they know about me, i assume, the better they will understand and appreciate me or become so offended that I realize i have no need or desire to have them in my life which is still beneficial to me.

god, I wish everyone were that way. sometimes i get so obsessed with wondering what people are thinking about me that it drives me insane! if people have negative thoughts it's just so much easier to deal with them when they're out in the air. if i'm misinterpreting their thoughts i would like to know even more.

oh well.

You need a recommendation

today I received a recommendation.

for what it doesn't matter. I asked a friend of mine to write a professional recommendation and she did.

I think everyone should find an excuse to ask some who they respect to write them a recommendation for anything. make it up if you have to. it's so uplifting to know that there are people who respect and appreciate your work.

I often get frustrated about not being where I want to be but I have to realize that where I am is not a bad place and that I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Artists Statement 2: Walls and doors

At any given time in our lives there are walls and doors. Sometimes walls provide protection and refuge. They can be shelter offering comfort and support. Sometimes these walls crowd us in smothering us. Sometimes they overwhelm us, making us feel as if they could cave in at anytime. Other times they crumble around us.

Where there are walls there are also doors. doors taking us from where we've been to where we're going. Whether they are difficult or easy to travel through, they are always there despite our inability to see them.

In this collection of paintings I have simplified the landscape of life into these two symbols: Walls and doors. These pieces illustrate the restraints our lives put on us and our incapability to see the possibilities that exist beyond our present state.

Artist's Statement 1

In our lives we are constantly ridding ourselves of things. Parting with items that once had great importance. We throw away belongings. We loose touch with friends. We forget ideas we once believed. We put away dreams which at one time were the impetus for all we did. We forget who we once were, those negative and positive days that now seem so far behind us.

Through my work I hope to redefine "garbage". I attempt to give new meaning to items which have been discarded and to celebrate emotions and experiences that have been forgotten. Above all I strive to acknowledge beauty everywhere especially those places you least expect.

I am a storyteller. I create images which have a beginning, middle, and end. Although, most of my work is inspired by specific people and or events my paintings are abstract representations of a people, times and places beyond the specific. The subjects have been stripped of extraneous details to to reveal a struggle. They are in a state of flux. They're leaving one place in their lives and ascending to another. Quite often they are searching for a way out. They're looking for the next door. They are yearning for someone to save them and escort them to the next destination. They are symbols of the constant journey of life.

I don't believe in passive art that one can simply view and critique. My goal is to encourage the viewer to take a journey. I want them to recall a memory or reclaim some thought, dream, desire or feeling that perhaps has been discarded and realize the beauty of it. I hope that viewers will see , as I do, that these are portraits of us all. They are images that depict who we are, were, might be, or might have been. They are memories for us all to share.

the great orchestra

i have yet to experience the thrill of the great orchestra of love which perhaps I have grown to synicle to believe in.
i desire only to sing my own little song and if i find someone who can harmonize with me that would be grand.