Added some new pics to my photo's on yahoo

sex sex sex sex sex

.
there is an abundance, an almost outrageous abundance,
of energy that we humans devote to sex
doing it, talking about it, worrying about who
else is doing it with whom.

it somehow all seems ridiculous and yet here I am writing about it. what an odd urge we have. supposedly it is derived from it's biological purpose to procreate but thru socialization the act has taken on many other fascades.

It's sometimes thought of as an extra-corricular activity, a sport. it can be a tool to symbolize power or subservience. it can be a sign of love, hate, loyalty, comaraderie, or even a sign of disrespect. it can be a drug or a balm. no matter what, it always seems that the day after you've decided you've had enough, the day after you decide you don't care anymore and can go on without ever experiencing it again, is the day you find yourself making out with someone you should'nt be, someone who will be more heartache than anything else.

oh well. I'm no whore, but i ain't no virgin either.

Me at the Wonderbar

Me at the Wonderbar on of my favorite bars in chicago owned by the amazing Lonnie Walker and her Badass band. This pic was taken by Jake Samson a great photographer and bass player who played with me in the short lived, Anthony Wills Quartet.

This Sight is Insane, but I couldn't stop reading it(click here at own risk)

I'm BRILLIANT!

actually I'm quite a moron. I've been trying to figure out how to post pictures forever and with much stupidity discovered after being told several times that it was quite simple here is one of my paintings i reffered to in Artist Statement 2

Reflection

I've spent a long time now being seen in a different light by different eyes
but i am still the same i've always been.

in addition to recreating who i am
the past few days i've been remembering who I always was
and always will be
I'm also reminding myself that i will always be admired
and always be respected by some
loathed and hated by others
and neither affects who i am

tomorrow

hey you

you've been tempting me for far too long

i saw you as you snuck around the corner
You didn't think i noticed you, did you?

I've been following you for years
or were you following me?
were you the one pushing me ahead?
creating my destination
and leading me to it

Too bad we'll never meet
but then again which of us truly meets another
we learn a little, we grow, they grow, we learn a little more
never truly fully comprehending ourselves or each other

for now i must be patient and wait until we are closer
only for us to be seperated again.
but still i follow you always right behind
always around the corner from tomorrow

Choose Your Weapon by Melissa Haviland

.

I love crossing paths with old friends Mellissa Haviland is an amazing artist that I used to live with in Normal Illinois. She was probably the most inspirational in me coming to realization that I wasn't meant to complete school thus sending me on my way into the professional realm of life as an artist.

We shared a lot of great times and when I came across her website I just had to share this piece. It's such a great dipiction of her in so many ways.

what a story

crazy little trip we've been on
nightmares and dreams
and no one knows which is which
secrets always remain
the truth is nonexistent

the story continues to be written
until the end
never to be told

The greatest words to come out of my mouth today

"I love you despite your vagina and the crazy things it makes you do"-spoken to wordrobe head jenny after being debriefed on her current boy games.

hello

welcome, turmoil my unwelcomed friend.
greetings to you my muse, my inspiration.

for a while i thought you had abandoned me.
i was glad to be without you,
but not foolish enough to believe you'd gone for good.

so, welcome.
today i acknowledge you.
however, i must apologize to you
for today i have no tears for you.
today i suffer not for you.
i merely accept your invitation and i'll journey with you
for the time being
and then go along my way.

it was a relief to be without you,
my unwanted companion.
oh god how i wish to never see you again
my long time friend.

but what am i without you,
without heartache there is no joy
without pain there is no pleasure
without you there is no me.

hello

off to see the wizard

travelled all the way to oz to get away from auntie em
and the rest of the crazy kansas bunch
instantly i hit it off with the munchkins
freaks and horses of other colors
"this is it" i proclaimed

it's been a while that toto's been dead
so i found a friend instead
or so i thought until we got half way down the yellow brick road
we were on our way to the emerald city
but, in a jam, here i am no toto
not tin man, no cowardly lion

guess i'll click my heals three times
and try to find home.

bye

Here you go again
playing games where you make up the rules
and i loose
because i have to choose
what's right
and i'm wrong

well i quit
game over
i don't have the time
to try and read your mind
to figure out how you "feel"
i've been through this grill

but the last time i got caught up
now i'm fed up
time to get up
and walk
away


bye

Life is Good I think?

I'm fed up with being a loser I'm taking full responsibility for my happiness and success. Someone once said that reality does not exist only perception. If that is true, which I believe. Then to change one's state of being you need not change the reality you live in , but your perception of it. That being said Life is good! (I think?)

My crappy Home page

My wish

i want to jump rope.
i want to ride a bike.
i want to climb a tree.
i want to eat a whole cake using just my fingers.
i want to roll down a hill.
i want to kiss every boy i think is cute, but just on the cheek.
i want to drink coffee and smoke cigarettes with a crazy old guy that will tell me stories about when he was a kid.
i want to drink absinthe.
i want to play on a jungle gym and hang upside down.
i want to pack up all my bags and just disappear.
i want to go home.
i want to feel welcomed here.
i want an entourage to welcome me everywhere i go.
i want to give the president the middle finger and have him understand why.
i want to destroy every weapon man ever created.
i want to dress up like a clown and ride a unicycle thru downtown.
i want to make people happy.
i want to be happy.
i want to love,
to laugh,
to play,
to sing,
to not be afraid of living
and not be afraid of dying.
i want to smile and have someone smiling with me.

Words to Live By

life can be pretty grand if you can just master the ability to not take it so seriously.

excerpt from "Strange People:stories by Dave Whittman"

I noticed over by Lassalle St. and Wacker their tearing up the Wacker drive area which that area is right near where they used to be these large hot air outlets where you’d have anywhere from twenty to fifty guys laying out in big lines right near the hot air vents. It was like a scene out of gone with the wind if you remember that scene where Scarlet O’Hara is tramping through all the wounded war veterans. Except most of these guys are black but it was very interesting and you usually, when it would be cold you know, very few people would steal anything cause you know you’d have to take your hands out of your pockets or out of your sleeping bag to do anything so it was pretty well safe. Of course there were a few crazy psychos that were very messy and got into peoples business and broke car windows and they of course ruined it for everybody. You know things are pretty bad for you when all you have is a whole in the ground and then you get kicked out of it.

I suppose being without an actual residence, being an Urban Nomad, is an excellent preliminary to being dead because people don’t notice you you’re generally ignored I suppose the same way it goes being...

and that way when you finally kick the bucket at least you don’t have to look for a place to pee, you don’t get hungry, and no one will ask you for a cigarette.

??????????????????????

i am currently pondering which is the most impractical thought:

to believe my life is a mess and i'm a fool

or

to believe my life is great and i'm a genius