fuck

I have no faith in fate screw fate.
that rotten bitch has ruled my life long enough.
I'm taking control now. LAvgf
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crap

fucking carple tunnel

okay you win I'll do

what you tell me

I don't want to get off!

I was thinking of the first line for this entry and came up with: Life is a rollercoaster, I've been diving for a long time and I don't want to get off. then I realized the other implications that could be made by choosing the phrase I did as a title I then thought how interesting it was that that thought was also true. wondering around the country as I have been lately puts doubt of ever finding anything real for the time being and I've had enough of Mr. in between.

Benito's Asshole-Rama

Benito's Asshole-Rama

I want fudge to want me

I want fudge to want me

She likes me she really likes me!

So my show went okay.
Lot's of technical farts but nothing major. After the show lot's of people said it was great. Barbara T. Smith loved it but I sort of figured even if it was a bad performance she would recognize the honesty and courage that is inherent in the piece and she would acknowledge that. However Holly Hughes is a two Obie winning actress which is about as big as you can get in performance art or even any solo work without making it big in Hollywood first. When the show first ended she said nothing to me. Somehow everyone else's words meant nothing Holly Hughes thought I was bad. I sat through a horribly boring unperformance then a great show by an amazing performer Iknow his name is Malcolm something and he teaches clowning amongst other things at University of Michigan. Anyway after that Holly came up to me and raved about my show she said she was speechless for a while afterwards. She likes me she really likes me!

Barbara T. Smith Is Amazing!

Life is such a pleasant thing. I've been really busy lately busy worrying about the future, worrying about the present. I'm almost unemployed and pretty much homeless trying to figure out where I want to live next.

So now I'm in Ohio performing my one-man show at a performance art symposium. One of the other performers is Holly Hughes which if you don't know her by name she's one of the four artist whose NEA funding was taken away because they were too "controversial". Their case against the NEA went all the way to the Supreme Court. Of course she was amazing, but who I wasn't expecting was Barbara T. Smith.

Meeting this woman was an affirmation of why we as artists do what we do. I don't even know how to explain it. Having any conversation with her makes you feel like you're at a well of knowledge and understanding that overflows. She attributes any understanding she has to her work. She uses her work to explore who she is and inherently what we all are as beings on this planet the good and the bad. If you ever get a chance to meet her, or see her perform, or read anything about her DO IT!

BARBARA T. SMITH IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Hypnogogic trip... Literally

So I've spent most of the summer in Mormon country so I thought I'd live it up by vacationing with one of my favorite sinners. I made plans to spend 9 sin filled days in lovely Seattle WA with my friend Mark Wittucke.

I arrive to a somewhat strange household; Mark, his girlfriend, her daughter, their roommate, her daughter,and two others who where just crashing there. Okay I think the more the merrier let's go all the way so we call up Marks brother who's also a good friend of mine and he comes to Seattle from Portland.


Fast forward a day or two....

I'm walking down the streets of Seattle and low and behold I run into an old friend from college, Jeannie Yandell. We haven't seen each other in ages so we shoot the shit and make plans to meet up for drinks later....

then the following morning.....

I wake up at Jeannie's after a long night of drinking and I call Mark... Mark isn't there nor will he be returning is the response I get from his former girlfriend. Now most of my possessions in this world are at the home of some chick who kicked my friend out of his home and I'm staying with a friend that I just happened to run into on the streets and I have no idea who Mark and his brother are staying with.

Ain't Life grand!!!!!