excerpt from Strange People by AWJ

A stupid observation about myself you know living the way that I have been for quite some time. I can look at a commercially attractive woman and I have absolutely no desire to do anything other than just look at their aesthetic purposes, to see you know those are interesting lines the curves of the body, whatever. But I have no desire. If she said, “come up to my apartment. Let’s get a hotel room or something.” No thanks. I mean I I just I I don’t. I just cannot imagine doing such a thing and I don’t feel like it. I don’t get those kind of dreams anymore. I dream about potato salad and , oh a wonderful Steak Diane. , things like that you know. , the smell of a brand new pair of shoes nobody else wore ever. , taking a shower all by myself. , things like that you know I but if I was going to be in a bed I wouldn’t want her in there. I’d want to be in a bed all by myself with a lock on the door. That’s great you know. I wouldn’t fall asleep with , you know, particularly if she’s a Russian cause you know they give you stuff in your drink. You’ll never see your Rolex again. Well, I just pissed off some Russians.

Ooh. I found a big Monte Crisco sandwich from Bennigan’s in perfect condition. Normally I wouldn’t order such a thing but one of those and you’re not hungry for about eleven hours. I mean that’s the sort of thing would be perfect with a big glass of ginger ale which I did not find with the sandwich, but it was very nice actually. I haven’t had one of those in years.

Once during the summer a bizarre thing happened I was looking in the trash near the m Lawrey’s Prime Rib. they’ve since removed the trash can there I used to refer to that trash can as my salad bar. Anyway so, I they I was looking in that trash can and in there was a completly unopened half gallon of Bryer’s Vanilla Ice-cream. And it was in the summer and it had just melted to the point where it was palatable with a plastic spoon just absolutely perfect I took it and I walked all the way across from the Drake hotel in the park and I ate it and ate it and ate it until no more would fit inside of me and I didn’t let go of the container until I had digested some of it whatever I had and then I drank the rest it was so wonderful to think that there are people who are able to abuse themselves like that everyday. , well that’s something to hope for.